See I’m not a monster, I’m just ahead of the curve.

It’s a schemer who put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself. Look what I have done to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple bullets. Nobody panics when the expected people get killed. Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plans are horrifying. If I tell the press that tomorrow a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will get blown up, nobody panics. But when I say one little old mayor will die, everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It’s fair.

Seriously, it's not that hard

Click me!

one more day

In just 24 hours I will be in line for the first Indiana Jones movie in 19 years. I had a few minutes to kill before i left work, so I doodled this quick. I'm worried because I felt this way before Phantom menace and was certainly not as excited afterwards. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Let us hurry. There is nothing to fear here.

That's what scares me.

Shanks is a little blue

Did this quick pic for another blog to which I occasionally submit some stuff. You can check it out here sometime.

That'll do pig. That'll do.

Oh, all right. For your own sake, I'll be blunt. Why do the Bosses keep ducks? To eat them. So why do the Bosses keep a pig? The fact is that animals that don't seem to have a purpose really do have a purpose. The Bosses have to eat. It's probably the most noble purpose of all, when you come to think about it.
Pork, they call it. Or bacon. They only call them pigs when they're alive.

Start spreadin' the news

“A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.”
- Mignon McLaughlin

I think someone should just take this city and just... just flush it down the fuckin' toilet.
I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

who's this handsome devil?

I haven't updated this site for awhile. I had a spare minute to mess around in Sketchbook a little. I promise some tastier sausage is on the way. I've had some problems with the grinder recently, but it seems like everything is working again. New meat is on the way.

Waiting for a file to load on the ftp...

Tank Girl is smokin'!

Mike Lucy

When he's not busy with his directing duties over at Little Einsteins (check out image 4), mike lucy likes to torment Charlie Brown and dispense affordable psychiatric advice.

Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?

Shut up, you American. You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say "let me tell you something" and "I just wanna say." Well, you're dead now, so shut up.

A couple of weeks ago I worked on a film as part of the 48 Hour Film Project. It's a contest in which groups have literally 48 hours to make a movie. The organizers provide a character, a prop, and a line of dialogue that must be used in the film. The group then draws a genre out of a hat, and has from 7 p.m. on Friday night until 7 p.m. on Sunday to write, shoot, edit and deliver a film no longer than 7 minutes (excluding titles and credits). Obviously it's a pretty hectic weekend, but usually a lot of fun. (yes, even a cynical sausage maker can have fun.)

The images are some poster concepts I was messing around with for our film. This year's character was Glen/Glenda travers, house painter; the prop was a flag; and the line was, "I can't remember everything." The genre we drew was road movie. So we did a movie about a bumbling death.

The movie is a little rough, but that's to be expected with only two days to do everything. The cast and crew were really good, as evidenced by the number of awards we won this year: Audience Favorite-Group A; Best Use of Genre; Best Theme Song (congrats Brad); Best Graphics; Best Actor (congrats Jim); Best Direction.

There was a lot of footage that we shot that had to be trimmed down to get the film under the allowed 7 minute mark. It's a shame some of it couldn't have stayed in the picture. All the dialogue was improvised, and the actors came up with some really good stuff. Who knows, maybe someday someone will take the time to put together a slightly longer "director's cut."

Anyway, you can check out Dead End for yourself here at funnyordie.com. If you enjoy it, vote it funny. If you don't enjoy it, vote it funny anyway. You can also check it out here, at the youtube.

The Chad

Just a really quick caricature of actor Chad Ridgely.

It doesn't matter if you're black or white...

because the world isn't.

So I was traveling in armpit of America, I mean New jersey, this past weekend and found myself in the historic hamlet of National Park. Since it was such a hot day I figured I'd go for a swim. I queried a passing young man where the local YMCA was located. His directions led me to a strip of land beneath the highway overpass containing the local swimming pool. As you can see, it's a beautiful pool. In fact, locals say Michael Phelps himself has claimed this to be one of the most exquisite pools he has ever had the pleasure to swim in.

I've also sent this image to letmeshowyouthem.com for them to post on their website. Figuring that since some of the guys that run the site are from National Park they'd be quite happy to see others enjoying the place they call home. Be sure to check out their site as they have some funny stuff over there.

Itsa me, Luizzi!

Justa quicka doodle of everybody's second favorite plumba, no?

Clifford, when you borrow something and don't tell nobody, they call that stealing.

I guess the feds wanted that rocket back more than Clifford realized. And Boba Fett is more deadly than some guy named Neville.

If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes!

So somebody sent me a link to this blog called steinhartstronghold. Apparently there is a small cult of animators in new york who are followers of this steinhart. these guys seem pretty into this guy/deity/mythical being. now, i'm not completely up to snuff on my mythology, but based on the tales these guys circulate about this steinhart he sounds wicked hard-core.
i posted a link in the sausage links section to steinhartstronghold. these are the real experts on steinhart. i highly suggest you check it out, and ask them for any more info.
anyway, after seeing the blog, and needing to take a break from making sausage, i decided to do a drawing of this teutonic titan. enjoy.

This body climbed Mt. Washington

Here he is! Men's Fitness' very own Mr. July! Mr. July's interests include eating chicken, playing with his adorable kitty cats, and collecting little plastic teddy bears. Sorry, ladies, this one is already taken. What a lucky Mrs. July!

The first brats!

Get it? First brats? Cause it's sausage and they're little know-it-alls! It just works on so many levels!

Well, all joking aside, I figured it was time to take part in at least one aspect of modern society. So I started a little sketch blog. I want to try to update this regularly. We'll see how that goes.

To get it started are the little mozarts...er...I mean, The Little Einsteins! I did these in a few spare minutes I had the other day. I like where Leo and Quincy are heading (the two boys), but June and Annie don't quite work.